By my own admission, I am a nerd. A geek. Jen calls me Inspector Gadget, because I like anything "tekkie", anything one would consider a gadget. Back in Florida, I had a very nice little weather station which gave me wind speed and direction, barometric pressure, rainfall, and forecast data. I could predict the weather better than the TV weatherman. Gotta love it!
Well, I left it behind when we moved, and I kinda miss it here in PA. So when we had to replace our old bedroom alarm clock, I did the only natural thing I could do...I bought a very nice clock with dual alarms, an indoor/outdoor thermometer, and a projector that shows the time/temp on my bedroom ceiling! Told ya, I love gadgets! Now I can wake up in the middle of the night, look right up at the ceiling, and tell what time it is, and what the temperature is outside our bedroom window.
Which is what I did this morning when Sasha decided that it was time to do her business, around 7:30 AM. I opened my eyes, and glanced at the digital read-out above my pillow. Uh, is that right? It says 34ºF! I vaguely remember it being around 45º when we went to bed. But 34º? Okay, let's do the math here - 7:30 AM + 34ºF + dog needs to go outside + Gary dressed in flannel bottoms = Are you out of your flippin' MIND???
I have to get the cobwebs out of the skull here. Where are my flannel cargo pants? Where is my heavy sweat-shirt with the hoodie? Where are my slippers? Where is the dog? 34º!!! I'm busy getting everything together and Sasha is waiting at the bedroom door, her little doggie legs crossed, and in her mind I can imagine the plea: "Would you please get your act together before I leave you a substantial present on the carpet?" I am hurrying, Sasha. But it's dark in here, and I don't want to turn on the lights and wake Momma.
I finally manage to get dressed in what I think will be sufficient enough clothing to get the job done quickly and get back to bed. I open the bedroom door, and Sasha is out and half-way down the stairs before I can think. I guess she really has to go! Well, so do I, and so I make a stop in our bathroom for some quick relief myself, and then down the stairs I go. Sasha is standing there looking up at me as if to say, "Would you please...?" Well, we're almost there. I go to the front door and grab her leash, and a poopie bag. I hook her up, and we head to the back door. This will not be a full-fledged walk...it will be a quick foray into the back yard to relieve the poor pup, and then right back inside.
I pull the hoodie over my head, and tighten the strings. And I open the door leading from the kitchen to our laundry room. The arctic blast hits me in the face, and we aren't even outside yet! It's like a freezer in here, and the last thing I want to do is open the door and go...OUTSIDE!! But I have to man-up and do this, and I take a deep breath, unlock the deadbolt, and open the door.
Thank goodness that there is no breeze blowing, because it is cold out here! My face and hands are bare, and the cold makes itself known immediately! And evidently, Sasha feels it, too! She usually takes her time, sniffing here and there, smelling the rabbits and the chipmunks, but not this morning! She hesitates to leave the rear deck, then hurries down the stairs, right into the grass and squats. This ain't gonna take long at all! A few more steps, a little pee, and then Sasha wants nothing more than to get her furry butt back inside. She drags me back up the stairs, through the door, and into the kitchen.
Now, usually at this stage of the action, she will whine and moan until I give her a doggie snack, but not today. She's ready to go back upstairs to our nice warm bedroom. But while outside, I noticed that the garbage truck has come by, and now I have to go back outside and retrieve our garbage can. Oh, great! So off I go again, down to the back curb, where I fetch the cans (I usually bring our neighbor's can back, too) and hurry back inside. Our can has frost all over the lid, and the grass I have to walk on is also stiff and frozen! Did I say it was COLD outside?
Now Sasha is waiting for me to let her out of the kitchen, and when I do, she heads right up the stairs. She is almost 14 years old and usually takes her time going up, but this morning she's like a puppy. By the time I get upstairs, she's waiting at the bedroom door - "Will you please let me get back into my bed??" Well, Sasha, you and I want the same thing, so chill out - oops! Wrong choice of words! Sasha doesn't need any encouragement - she's all curled up and half asleep before I can get back to bed myself.
Now, this is the first real cold spell I have experienced since we moved. By all local figures, this ain't really cold at all! And to be honest, it got this cold a few times in Florida. But this is a precursor - Jen (half) jokingly tells me, "See the "34º" on the clock, honey? Well, wait till you wake up one morning, and the "3" isn't there!" It does get down to single digits up here occasionally, and even if it doesn't, I know I will see temps in the teens before winter is gone. I'm not even going to imagine sub-zero figures! And this morning is just a small taste of what will come, and I am cold! So cold that I am pondering how to erect a small fence around our back yard, so that I can let the dogs out while staying inside myself. Yes, I can be a heartless SOB! And the colder it gets...
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